Такой вот ламенташковый пересказ "Чарли и шоколадная фабрика", т.е. щедро сдобреный болезной дичью.
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START WHILE ATTEMPT1NG TO GIVE SELENA A BACKRUß, ETAIN'S HANP IS CAUGHT IN A COCOA PRESS. MIRACULOUSLY, HER ARM STRETCHES LIKE TAFFY. im-: шш-штгш KENPRA'S TEETH SUPPENLY PECAY AND FALL IN THE VAT. ANGERED AT IMPURITIES IN THE SACREP CREAM, P/GMIES BEAT HER TO PEATH WITH WOOPEN SPOONS. ALI PUU'S SKIN RAPIDLY PARKENS TO THE COLOR OF A RIPE BLUEBERRY. WITH REGRET HE RECALLS THE BLUEBERRY CHOCOLATE BLOSSOM HE SNIFFEP EARLIER. SPOOLING ETAIN'S ARM AROUNP A lO' POLE, THE APVENTURERS ENTER THE GREENHOUSE, ARRIVING JUST IN TIME FOR THE PYGMIES' "ORGY BREAK."_____ ODDI START [LJOUi MIGUEL SHOOTS THE LOCK OFF THE POOR, ANP THEY ENTER A WORLP OF PURE IMAGINATION. THE MUTANT PYGMIES ARE SO BUSY THEY IGNORE THE INTRUPERS. ON A LONG, COLP HIKE THROUGH THE WOOPS OF FRIESLANP, THE PUnCMRS APVENTURERS EAT UP THEIR SUPPLY OF PEMMICAN ANP PICKLEP HERRING. I HANS, ETAIN ANP KENPRA HELP THEMSELVES TO THE FREE SAMPLES. OLIVER SPIES THROUGH THE GUARPHOUSE WINPOW ANP SEES A SWEATY WALLOON FREEBASING BARS OF CHOCOLATE. HE LEAVES, CONTENT THE GUARPS ARE HARMLESS. APTERWARPS, THE GUARP PISEMBOWELS HIS SLEEPING COMPANIONS TO EAT THE COCOA TRACES IN THEIR STOMACHS. ALI PULI CASTS "CHARM PERSON" ON KARL WEISS, THE POCKMASTER. WEISS GIVES ALI THE KEYS, PECLARES HIS FASCINATION WITH MAURETANIAN CULTURE, ANP PESCRIBES HIS THEORY OF THE "SOTAPIC ZONE."______________ MIGUEL ATTEMPTS TO STEAL PETER PAUL RUBENS' PORTR OF LUCIA PE CASTILLO. A TRC SPRAYS HIM WITH A SELTZER-FLAVOREP MIST. SELENA LICKS THE PAINTING OP SNOZZBERRIES. NAUSEATEP BY THE "BERRY ORGY," HANS BEGINS VOMITING CHOCOLATE. POSSESSEP BY A MAP CRAVING, GUY PLUNGES HIS MOUTH INTO THE SCALPING STREAM. ETAIN GRABS SELENA ANP TRIES TO MAKE OUT. "EL GRANCUPOS," GIANT INSECTS WHICH LIVE SYMBIOTICALLY WITH TH60BR0MA CACAO, SWOOP POWN ANP IMPLANT LARVAE IN GUY'S ВОРУ. HORRIFIEP, OLIVER LOOSES ALL 4 BARRELS OF HIS PUCK'S FOOT PISTOL. SELENA FREES THE IMPRISONER TWIN CHILPREN, LEAVING THE APULT PRISONER IN THE JUICING MACHINE. OFFENPEP, THE PYGMIES ATTACK. HANS IS STRUCK BY POISONER BLOWPARTS WHICH TURN HIS FLESH INTO REP ROCK CANPY. ALI PULI INFLATES INTO AN & WIPE BLUEBERRY. AS THE P/GMIES APPROACH, SELENA REALIZES THAT MIGUEL'S ВОРУ IS "LIGHTER THAN AIR" ANP COMES UP WITH A, NEW MEANS OF TRANSPORTATION. ETAIN TELLS SELENA SHE CAN USE HER ВОРУ "HOWEVER YOU WANT". SELENA TIES MIGUEL TO THE BOAT, WHICH RISES OUT OF THE P/GMIES' REACH, SMASHING THROUGH THE GREENHOUSE ROOF ANP BEYONP...A NARROW ESCAPE/ THE BURGLARS ARE SHOCKEP BY FOOP SAFETY CONPITIONS IN LUCIA'S SECRET KITCHEN LABORATORY. THE CONPENSEP MILK MONSTER ATTACKS. HEARING THE UNFAMILIAR SOUNPS OF SCREAMS OF PAIN SJOT CAUSEP BY HER OWN HANP, LUCIA PE CASTILLO ENTERS. ETAIN THROWS THE EXPLOSIVE APERITIF. SELENA KICKS OVER THE MILK MONSTER'S CAULPRON, IRREVERSIBLY STAINING LUCIA'S PETTICOAT._____________ AFTER A PROTRACTED FOOD FIGHT, LUCIA PE CASTILLO STAGGERS BACKWARPS INTO THE CHOCOLATE RIVER. THE PYGMIES FINISH EATING THROUGH ALI PULI'S BOPY ANP SWARM POWNSTAIRS. ETAIN CASTS, "ENLARGE" ON ALI PULI, MAKING HIM 9.6 FEET WIPE. ETAIN ANP THE OTHERS USE HIM TO BARRICAPE THE POUBLE POORS, BUYING THEM SOME TIME. HANS RUNS OUT THE FACTORY POORS, FLEEING INTO THE SNOW ОГНЕ P/GMIES HATE THE COLP). MAKING IT INTO THE WOOPS, HE PIES OF EXPOSURE ANP FREEZES INTO A SHAPELESS TRANSLUCENT MASS. PEASANT CHILPREN FINP HIS BOPY ANP ARGUE HOW MANY LICKS IT TAKES TO GET TO THE CENTER. , men! H)onber !ie§ ©aftitfo (Sfyocolateria, mbofe chocolates bane obfeffeb Europe fince 1612! 3he ^aris merchants toil! pay our meight in gotb to finb ©aftilto’S recipe! perhaps melt eoen finb the reafon for the fiteb teeth fometimes founb in her truffle bars. dramatis ^Perfonae. 1.6etena, a fighter. 5. ¿tain, a 2ftagic-ufer. 2. SKenbra, a (£leric. 6. фапЗ, a fighter. 3. Miguel, a fighter. 7. ©liner, a 6pecia!ift 4. № Puli, a 9ftagic-ufer. 8. (Suy, a 6pecia!ift. SELENA, ETAIN ANP MIGUEL RUN POWNSTAIRS. AFTER A FAILEP ATTEMPT TO PARLAY WITH THE BOILER ROOM PYGMIES, THEY KILL THEM, LEAVING ONLY 15S P/GMIES IN THE FACTORY. MIGUEL SUPPENLY SWELLS INTO A GIANT FIZZY BUBBLE ANP FLOATS AGAINST THE CEILING, OUT OF REACH. HANS GAINS 40 POUNPS, SPLITTING HIS HOSE ANP CANNIONS. ¿TAIN'S SKYROCKETING DOPAMINE LEVELS CAUSE HER TO VIEW SELENA WITH FORBIPPEN SAME-APVENTURING-PARTY LOVE. THE TWINS, ALREAPY LITTLE MORE THAN HOLLOW FLESH SHELLS AROUNP A CANPY CENTER SPREAD LUCIA'S PISEASES TO SELENA ANP THE UNSUSPECTING CITIZENS OP 1617 FRIESLANP. FINISH
lamentations of the flame princess,настольные ролевые игры,Old school renaissance,без перевода
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