i talk all the time

То чем так долго пугали свершилось!

https://www.warhammer-community.com/2018/05/21/21st-may-warhammer-adventures-tales-for-younger-readersgw-homepage-post-1/

Детские книжки - Вархаммер: Приключения!

Вкратце - авторы вахи обожают свои миры и хотят поделиться с ними со всеми фанатами вархаммера - поэтому они представляют две серии приключенческих книг (фэнтази и сай-фай очевидно) для детей и родителей* желающих познакомить и разделить с будущим поколением увлечение Вархаммером

Они часто слышат от хоббистов с детьми, что хотели бы представить им вархаммер, но не знают как это сделать, к ним постоянно подходят с этим вопросом на конвентах, викендерах, оупен деях и т.д. взрослые фанаты со своими семьями и детьми. Кроме того, по миру, это довольно таки нормальное явление что Родители играют в настолки и проводят время со своими детьми.

Поэтому они и решили создать эту серию.

*Очевидно что родители не хотят знакомить своих детей с вархаммером, начиная с Ереси Хоруса, где 9 сыновей хотят уничтожить своего отца и его империю...

"The 41st Millennium and the Mortal Realms are fantastical places, ripe for adventure. 

Like you, we love these worlds, and we’re always looking for new ways to share them with all kinds of fans. Today, we’re delighted to announce a new type of Warhammer fiction and 2 new series that are sure to excite young readers and parents* eager to introduce the next generation to the joy of Warhammer. 

We often hear from hobbyists whose kids are eager to learn and read more about the rich worlds of Warhammer. At doubles events the world over, it’s a common sight to see parent-child teams having a blast and sharing their love of Warhammer gaming. 

We wanted a way for these young Warhammer fans to explore the settings, so we’ve created a brand new fiction series: 

Warhammer Adventures is an exciting new range of books coming next year for boys and girls aged 8-12 years old featuring younger protagonists having thrilling adventures and facing off against dangerous enemies. 

Warhammer Adventures stories are written by best selling authors with experience of writing fantastic fiction for younger readers, and will be the perfect way to introduce your children, siblings, nieces, nephews and other young fans in your life to the hobby you love – and to give them their first look at the awesome worlds of the 41st Millennium and the Mortal Realms. 

The first title for Warhammer Age of Sigmar will be Realm Quest: The City of Lifestone by Tom Huddleston, and the first title for Warhammer 40,000 will be Warped Galaxies: Attack of the Necron by Cavan Scott. Both Tom and Cavan have written extensively for younger readers, including collaborating on a popular Star Wars series. 

We talked to Cavan about Warped Galaxies: Attack of the Necron, and he had this to say: 

Cavan: “I’m delighted to be bringing the adventure, excitement and thrills of life in the 41st Millennium to a new generation. There are going to be space battles and monsters, fearsome aliens and dangerous villains. But there will also be friendship and bravery in the form of our three lead characters; ganger Talen, Martian Mekki and explorer Zelia. They already know that life in the Imperium is tough, but they never expected that it would be this challenging, that they would find themselves lost and alone. As their quest begins, they will have to quickly learn who they can trust and what risks are worth taking. Above all, they will learn that need each other to survive.” 

We’ll be bringing you more information about Warhammer Adventures in the coming months, and the new Warhammer Adventures website is live now – head over there to check it out. 

(*Parents) understandably unsure about recommending the Horus Heresy series to their children, it being a series about 9 sons trying to tear down their father’s empire…""

Ночная видео-ностальгия! вспоминаем старые добрые 70-90ые

Their Stories

"Hey young man. This is not the closest way to the Bulgewater County. You better choose the west road of the Wisteria Crossroad."
"Oh look at this thick skin. Everybody's waiting for their turn and now you want to get buried in such nice place far far away?
Hey, you better go to my grave plot. It's much closer and so beautifu..."
"I heard your goddamned hometown story for hundreds of times that my ossicles almost worn out, ma'am.
Why don't we just shut up for this painful journey? You can have some talks with the devils after burial."
"Your sister's pelvis was so huge that even three baby skulls could go through the hole."
"That bastard is talking shit again. I heard he was mental and still barking like a dog even after brain fluid dried out."
"My jaw! Where is my jaw! I can't eat without my jaw!"
"His jaw was gone sucking dragon dick."
"This rude boy is ignoring me again! I told you Bulgewater County is not this way..."

----------------------------------

They Talk Too Much

"I told you not to go this way."
"Hey lad. Your fighting stance is awkward as hell."
"Your mama's tit was so huge that her ribs were bent."
"He's so nice as always. Drop me off here."
"We're dead! We're all dead. All because of that stupid gravekeeper!"
"Where is my jaw?"
"When I was young, I found no monsters as ugly as this one."

-----------------------------

They Still Talk

"Amazing, lad! Transforming our remains into spirit form, what a magic!"
"If I didn't know you, i would have thought that you were trying to kill us all! I know this sort of sorcery, and they use this spell to destroy the undeads."
"Your mama's spine is so bent that you can use it in math class as protractor."
"Good to be together as always. It's hard to find nice lad like this fellow these days."
"Where is my jaw? I can't find my jaw!"
"Huh! You call this a magic! Back in my days..."
"Hey young man, do you even hear me?"

------------------------------

Take Them Please

"Mortal. I ask you to yield one of those heads."
"I can't."
"You cherish life of the deads more than yours? How touching."
"No really. I can't."

------------------------------

Put Your Hand on My Shoulder

"Hey young lad. You're just passing by that poor giant's body and you call yourself a gravekeeper?"
"Knock it off you bloody dotard."
"Haha! We heard you talking back to our word! Today's a special day!"

------------------------------

The Protectors

I hear dead people.
And they never fxxking shut up.

------------------------------

Dead Men Tell A Lot of Tales

"That's a mighty fine necromancy, summoning the dead severed arm!"
"And he didn't raise us from dead with such skill."
"Where is my jaw."
"If we knew he could do that we would've never apologized him."
"I mean, it's pretty absurd to blame us for dragging monster's attention by our chatter. It's monster that cut off his arm, not us."

--------------------------------

Manga Style Necromancy

"Fight with me."
"Wait, we never agreed that."
"I will never forget you."
"I said we never agreed that."
"SOUL CRUSHER."
"You motherf-."

------------------------------

"Your Move, Old Man."

"Look at that ruddy bastard grabbing old man's head."
"Where is my jaw."
"Back in my days, even rudest of all showed respect to the elders.
Kids these days ignore the aged men and their wisdom.
Back in my days, no one would've allowed this to happen.
The kings had to get off their horse to salute me on the road."
"When yer mom rolled on the pen with the pigs."
"Where is my fxxking jaw, you bloody ruffians."

-------------------------------

Necro-man

Even though the sword is broken dead, I can call its soul back.
Arm is the most basic type of shield.
My revived arm will be a shield.
This is my necromancy.

------------------------------

Starved Pistol of Diliworth

Starved Pistol of Diliworth.
One of the haunted relics made by infamous weapon inventor Godin Elwiv of Eldrian two centuries ago.
The soul of people who were killed by him is stored inside.
Danger Rank High. Never touch.
P.S. My dear pupil who never ever read nor listen to my words.
I leave this postscript for I thought you would've ignore that warning.
At least don't fire this pistol twice.
The chance of it taking user's soul increases geometrically on the second fire.

------------------------------

Hellblade

"Old man. Sword."
"Arfwgerraworf"

--------------------------------

You Must Fly

"Damn, I'm terribly sorry lady.
This is what my necromancy do.
Look at my arm. Revived in strange form of my true nature.
I guess your soul looks like a fish, swimming freely in the air.
At least you can fly instead of having normal leg oh what the hell am I talking about. I'm really...
Oh... Uh... I guess you like it.
Thank you."

-----------------------------------

One is Gone

My masters, all six of them, told me not to talk to the deads.
The deads never come back to life. That's undeniable truth. The truth that people left behind want to deny so much.
The soul of the dead leaves this world over the curtain of our realm forever.
What we call ghost is just an embodiment of remaining thought, emotion, or memory of the deads.
That's why they cannot talk normally, always want though need nothing, and stick to something obstinately.
It is difficult to remove them peacefully unless you follow certain rules and process originated from the deceased.
The deads are not the ones you knew.
Now I can understand why they taught me that over and over again.
It is obvious how I'll react to the false hallucination of my masters when they pass away.