like you better dead

Combo

Владельцы Playstation 4 в первый месяц выхода Red Dead Redemption 2

Часть 4 - Последний день.

Автор - mead(mistermead) - http://mistermead.tumblr.com 

Ссылка на предыдущую часть - http://zootopia.reactor.cc/post/2688200

Ссылка на оригинал - http://mistermead.tumblr.com/post/146769526811/the-last-day-thanks-for-the-parking-ticket

Продолжение следует...

“Thanks for the parking ticket, Officer ‘Hopps’!”
July comes back, stunned and on guard over this short old deep-voiced fennec that knows her name
“How do you know my name? You never saw my badge.”
“Oh wow..your name is actually Hopps? heheheHAHAHa-hack-cough…are all of you rabbit cops..-wheeze-..named Hopps or is my memory actin’ up?”
Confused and still on guard, she asks again how he knows her name, detailing how he could be investigated for suspicious activity involving an officer’s identity
“You even talk like her too, can you tell me you’re not a ghost? I might be trippin’ again”
She starts to sigh, thinking he’s a junkie and figures she’s gonna have to run a sobriety test, she starts going back for her equipment when she hears
“Is your name Judy too? Because I must be as dead as her if that’s what this is.”
July stops, and looks back at the ranting fennec.
“Hey, have you been watchin’ over big bad 'Officer Chief Nick’ while he’s been gone? I need to get all caught up to speed. He finally over you yet? I was hopin’ to catch up with him myself, but since I’m dead too I’ll just have to wa….”
“I’m not Judy Hopps. I’m JULY Hopps. And how do…?”
“Ohhhhh…… . So is he chasin’ you too? AHAHAHAHAH-ACK-haa…cough…ehhh I’m just kiddin’ kid. Last I saw him he wasn’t even the same fox. Not even his big stupid grin on his face” he mumbled while hobbling back to his van
July doesn’t stop him despite her wanting to arrest him a minute ago. She walks after him with curiosity “What do you know about Chief Wilde? Do you know him?”
“Know him? I worked with him” The old fennec opens the rear van door and lights up a joint.
“Hey! You can’t smoke that without….” she stops, as the fennec holds out his medical permit
“Helps with the cancer. Yep! Worked with him. Watched him grow up too. Then watched him run off to play officer with that rabbit cop and he never came back.”
“Rabbit cop?”
“Have a seat kid, let Ol’ Finnick here tell you a story..” 

- "Ну спасибо тебе за штраф, Офицер -Хоппс-!"

Джули повернулась, изумленная и настороженная к этому маленькому старому басовитому фенеку, знающему как её зовут. 

- "Откуда Вы меня знаете? Вы никогда не видели мой значок."

- "Ох вау... так тебя таки зовут Хоппс? хехехеХАХАХА-гакх-кофф... Вы, кролики полицейские -хрипит- все из Хоппсов или это моя память барахлит?"

В замешательстве и всё еще настороженная, она снова спросила откуда он знает как её зовут, пригрозив ему допросом по поводу подозрительных действий в отношении личности офицера.

- "Ты даже говоришь как она, ты ведь не призрак, да? У меня, наверное, снова галлюцинации."

Она вздохнула, думая, что он очередной наркоман, и что ей скорее всего придется провести проверку на наркотики. Она начала рыться в своей экипировке, когда услышала.

- "А имя твоё не Джуди часом? Иначе, я такой же мертвяк как и она, если это так."

Джули остановилась, и повернулась лицом к раздраженному фенеку.

- "Хей, ты приглядывала за большим злобным -Офицером Шефом Ником-, пока он пропадал? Я хочу всё знать. Он наконец-то бросил тебя? Я надеялся поймать его самолично, но так как я уже мертв, как и ты, я пожалуй подож-"

- "Я не Джуди Хоппс. Я ДЖУЛИ Хоппс. И откуда ты...?"

- "Ооооо..... . Так он и за тобой гоняется? АХАХАХАХА-АКК-хааа...кофф...хеех я просто шучу, малышка. Когда я последний раз его видел, он уже не был тем лисом, что прежде. Даже его дурацкая ухмылка пропала." он бормотал, ковыляя назад к своему фургону.

Джули не остановила его несмотря на желание арестовать минуту назад. Она пошла за ним из любопытства "Что Вы знаете о Шефе Уайлде? Вы его знали?"

- "Знал его? Да я с ним работал." старый фенек открыл заднюю дверцу фургона, достал и зажег косяк.

- "Ей! Вы не можете курить это без..." - она остановилась, увидев медицинскую справку, которую достал фенек.

- "Помогает при раке. Ага! Работал с ним. И наблюдал за тем, как он рос. А потом смотрел, как он убежал играть в офицера вместе с той крольчихой копом и больше не возвращался."

- "Крольчиха коп?"

- "Присаживайся, малышка. И дай Старику Финнику рассказать тебе историю..."

Специально для Джойреактора.

Their Stories

"Hey young man. This is not the closest way to the Bulgewater County. You better choose the west road of the Wisteria Crossroad."
"Oh look at this thick skin. Everybody's waiting for their turn and now you want to get buried in such nice place far far away?
Hey, you better go to my grave plot. It's much closer and so beautifu..."
"I heard your goddamned hometown story for hundreds of times that my ossicles almost worn out, ma'am.
Why don't we just shut up for this painful journey? You can have some talks with the devils after burial."
"Your sister's pelvis was so huge that even three baby skulls could go through the hole."
"That bastard is talking shit again. I heard he was mental and still barking like a dog even after brain fluid dried out."
"My jaw! Where is my jaw! I can't eat without my jaw!"
"His jaw was gone sucking dragon dick."
"This rude boy is ignoring me again! I told you Bulgewater County is not this way..."

----------------------------------

They Talk Too Much

"I told you not to go this way."
"Hey lad. Your fighting stance is awkward as hell."
"Your mama's tit was so huge that her ribs were bent."
"He's so nice as always. Drop me off here."
"We're dead! We're all dead. All because of that stupid gravekeeper!"
"Where is my jaw?"
"When I was young, I found no monsters as ugly as this one."

-----------------------------

They Still Talk

"Amazing, lad! Transforming our remains into spirit form, what a magic!"
"If I didn't know you, i would have thought that you were trying to kill us all! I know this sort of sorcery, and they use this spell to destroy the undeads."
"Your mama's spine is so bent that you can use it in math class as protractor."
"Good to be together as always. It's hard to find nice lad like this fellow these days."
"Where is my jaw? I can't find my jaw!"
"Huh! You call this a magic! Back in my days..."
"Hey young man, do you even hear me?"

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Take Them Please

"Mortal. I ask you to yield one of those heads."
"I can't."
"You cherish life of the deads more than yours? How touching."
"No really. I can't."

------------------------------

Put Your Hand on My Shoulder

"Hey young lad. You're just passing by that poor giant's body and you call yourself a gravekeeper?"
"Knock it off you bloody dotard."
"Haha! We heard you talking back to our word! Today's a special day!"

------------------------------

The Protectors

I hear dead people.
And they never fxxking shut up.

------------------------------

Dead Men Tell A Lot of Tales

"That's a mighty fine necromancy, summoning the dead severed arm!"
"And he didn't raise us from dead with such skill."
"Where is my jaw."
"If we knew he could do that we would've never apologized him."
"I mean, it's pretty absurd to blame us for dragging monster's attention by our chatter. It's monster that cut off his arm, not us."

--------------------------------

Manga Style Necromancy

"Fight with me."
"Wait, we never agreed that."
"I will never forget you."
"I said we never agreed that."
"SOUL CRUSHER."
"You motherf-."

------------------------------

"Your Move, Old Man."

"Look at that ruddy bastard grabbing old man's head."
"Where is my jaw."
"Back in my days, even rudest of all showed respect to the elders.
Kids these days ignore the aged men and their wisdom.
Back in my days, no one would've allowed this to happen.
The kings had to get off their horse to salute me on the road."
"When yer mom rolled on the pen with the pigs."
"Where is my fxxking jaw, you bloody ruffians."

-------------------------------

Necro-man

Even though the sword is broken dead, I can call its soul back.
Arm is the most basic type of shield.
My revived arm will be a shield.
This is my necromancy.

------------------------------

Starved Pistol of Diliworth

Starved Pistol of Diliworth.
One of the haunted relics made by infamous weapon inventor Godin Elwiv of Eldrian two centuries ago.
The soul of people who were killed by him is stored inside.
Danger Rank High. Never touch.
P.S. My dear pupil who never ever read nor listen to my words.
I leave this postscript for I thought you would've ignore that warning.
At least don't fire this pistol twice.
The chance of it taking user's soul increases geometrically on the second fire.

------------------------------

Hellblade

"Old man. Sword."
"Arfwgerraworf"

--------------------------------

You Must Fly

"Damn, I'm terribly sorry lady.
This is what my necromancy do.
Look at my arm. Revived in strange form of my true nature.
I guess your soul looks like a fish, swimming freely in the air.
At least you can fly instead of having normal leg oh what the hell am I talking about. I'm really...
Oh... Uh... I guess you like it.
Thank you."

-----------------------------------

One is Gone

My masters, all six of them, told me not to talk to the deads.
The deads never come back to life. That's undeniable truth. The truth that people left behind want to deny so much.
The soul of the dead leaves this world over the curtain of our realm forever.
What we call ghost is just an embodiment of remaining thought, emotion, or memory of the deads.
That's why they cannot talk normally, always want though need nothing, and stick to something obstinately.
It is difficult to remove them peacefully unless you follow certain rules and process originated from the deceased.
The deads are not the ones you knew.
Now I can understand why they taught me that over and over again.
It is obvious how I'll react to the false hallucination of my masters when they pass away.

Better than what?

Роберт Киркман извинился за сюжетный ход комикса «The Walking Dead»