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деградач приколы для даунов Санкт-Петербург Россия Петр 1 Dark Souls фэндомы 

Я считал Санкт-Петербург самым лучшим городом в мире, но потом я увидел Блайттаун. ш . V ■ ^ 1 ^ ^ щ ¡Г,деградач,приколы для даунов,Санкт-Петербург,Россия,страны,Петр 1,Dark Souls,фэндомы

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Мрачные картинки красивые картинки Мрачные гифки много гифок гифки длиннопост behind you 

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i believe i can fly гифки фейл баскетбол 

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Disco Elysium Игры Harrier Du Bois Kim Kitsuragi Игровой арт tuinendraws artist 

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anon 

Congratulations, She won.

Without playing i guess.

Утро ебаное.
anon
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mlp OC my little pony фэндомы mlp art smoldix Vulgar Ponies 

Arts & Crafts are hard when you have hooves.

mlp OC ,my little pony,Мой маленький пони,фэндомы,mlp art,smoldix,Vulgar Ponies,mlp OC,my little pony,fandoms,mlp art,smoldix,vulgar ponies
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nightchanne1 I Have No Mouth and I Must Scream Игровой арт Игры Night Channel 

Я поместил тевя среди добычи и вместо того, чтобы потакать своему голоду, давы оставить меня довольным. ТЫ ПРОЯВИЛ к ним СОСТРАДАНИЕ?'.,nightchanne1,I Have No Mouth and I Must Scream,Игровой арт,game art,Игры,nightchanne1,I have no mouth and i must scream,games,game art,Night

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Anime Monster Girl Encyclopedia Monster Girl (Anime) Anime Ero Anime Sketch под катом AltairLeVega Anime Unsorted 

remember not to accidentally set your game to the hardest difficulty or you'll end up getting ganged on by strong monsters

Anime,Аниме,Monster Girl Encyclopedia,Monster Girl (Anime),Monster Girls (Anime),Anime Ero,Взрослые Няшки,Anime Sketch,под катом,AltairLeVega,Anime,fandoms,Monster Girl Encyclopedia,Monster Girl,Anime Adult,Anime Sketch,AltairLeVega,Anime Unsorted,Anime Unsorted

don't you hate it when you return home from work and catch an inari on your bed? (I wanted a youko instead, I guess i'll just suffer or something)

Anime,Аниме,Monster Girl Encyclopedia,Monster Girl (Anime),Monster Girls (Anime),Anime Ero,Взрослые Няшки,Anime Sketch,под катом,AltairLeVega,Anime,fandoms,Monster Girl Encyclopedia,Monster Girl,Anime Adult,Anime Sketch,AltairLeVega,Anime Unsorted,Anime Unsorted

I wonder if they have burgers in monster girl encyclopedia...I would give one to a sahuagin and massage her tail while she enjoys her food

77////,Anime,Аниме,Monster Girl Encyclopedia,Monster Girl (Anime),Monster Girls (Anime),Anime Ero,Взрослые Няшки,Anime Sketch,под катом,AltairLeVega,Anime,fandoms,Monster Girl Encyclopedia,Monster Girl,Anime Adult,Anime Sketch,AltairLeVega,Anime Unsorted,Anime Unsorted

after a long day of ruling the fairy kingdom, the titania and her royal subjects go home to play video games that the human from another world has brought with to mainland. now games are being produced in the fairy kingdom thanks to him.

Anime,Аниме,Monster Girl Encyclopedia,Monster Girl (Anime),Monster Girls (Anime),Anime Ero,Взрослые Няшки,Anime Sketch,под катом,AltairLeVega,Anime,fandoms,Monster Girl Encyclopedia,Monster Girl,Anime Adult,Anime Sketch,AltairLeVega,Anime Unsorted,Anime Unsorted

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A. Shipwright artist Fantasy art некромант Traditional art длинопост 

Their Stories

A.SHlPWWGrtT,A. Shipwright,artist,Fantasy,Fantasy art,art,арт,некромант,Traditional art,длинопост

"Hey young man. This is not the closest way to the Bulgewater County. You better choose the west road of the Wisteria Crossroad."
"Oh look at this thick skin. Everybody's waiting for their turn and now you want to get buried in such nice place far far away?
Hey, you better go to my grave plot. It's much closer and so beautifu..."
"I heard your goddamned hometown story for hundreds of times that my ossicles almost worn out, ma'am.
Why don't we just shut up for this painful journey? You can have some talks with the devils after burial."
"Your sister's pelvis was so huge that even three baby skulls could go through the hole."
"That bastard is talking shit again. I heard he was mental and still barking like a dog even after brain fluid dried out."
"My jaw! Where is my jaw! I can't eat without my jaw!"
"His jaw was gone sucking dragon dick."
"This rude boy is ignoring me again! I told you Bulgewater County is not this way..."

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They Talk Too Much

A. Shipwright,artist,Fantasy,Fantasy art,art,арт,некромант,Traditional art,длинопост

"I told you not to go this way."
"Hey lad. Your fighting stance is awkward as hell."
"Your mama's tit was so huge that her ribs were bent."
"He's so nice as always. Drop me off here."
"We're dead! We're all dead. All because of that stupid gravekeeper!"
"Where is my jaw?"
"When I was young, I found no monsters as ugly as this one."

-----------------------------

They Still Talk

A. Sb'pwrigbl,A. Shipwright,artist,Fantasy,Fantasy art,art,арт,некромант,Traditional art,длинопост

"Amazing, lad! Transforming our remains into spirit form, what a magic!"
"If I didn't know you, i would have thought that you were trying to kill us all! I know this sort of sorcery, and they use this spell to destroy the undeads."
"Your mama's spine is so bent that you can use it in math class as protractor."
"Good to be together as always. It's hard to find nice lad like this fellow these days."
"Where is my jaw? I can't find my jaw!"
"Huh! You call this a magic! Back in my days..."
"Hey young man, do you even hear me?"

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Take Them Please

 i щ А ’ V ИР*?2/ \'ЯШ JW г к Я И *- о i,A. Shipwright,artist,Fantasy,Fantasy art,art,арт,некромант,Traditional art,длинопост

"Mortal. I ask you to yield one of those heads."
"I can't."
"You cherish life of the deads more than yours? How touching."
"No really. I can't."

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Put Your Hand on My Shoulder

‘Ä.Sfyip^rvicrtt,A. Shipwright,artist,Fantasy,Fantasy art,art,арт,некромант,Traditional art,длинопост

"Hey young lad. You're just passing by that poor giant's body and you call yourself a gravekeeper?"
"Knock it off you bloody dotard."
"Haha! We heard you talking back to our word! Today's a special day!"

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The Protectors

A. Shipwright,artist,Fantasy,Fantasy art,art,арт,некромант,Traditional art,длинопост

I hear dead people.
And they never fxxking shut up.

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Dead Men Tell A Lot of Tales

A. Shipwright,artist,Fantasy,Fantasy art,art,арт,некромант,Traditional art,длинопост

"That's a mighty fine necromancy, summoning the dead severed arm!"
"And he didn't raise us from dead with such skill."
"Where is my jaw."
"If we knew he could do that we would've never apologized him."
"I mean, it's pretty absurd to blame us for dragging monster's attention by our chatter. It's monster that cut off his arm, not us."

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Manga Style Necromancy

A. Shipwright,artist,Fantasy,Fantasy art,art,арт,некромант,Traditional art,длинопост

"Fight with me."
"Wait, we never agreed that."
"I will never forget you."
"I said we never agreed that."
"SOUL CRUSHER."
"You motherf-."

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"Your Move, Old Man."

A. Shipwright,artist,Fantasy,Fantasy art,art,арт,некромант,Traditional art,длинопост

"Look at that ruddy bastard grabbing old man's head."
"Where is my jaw."
"Back in my days, even rudest of all showed respect to the elders.
Kids these days ignore the aged men and their wisdom.
Back in my days, no one would've allowed this to happen.
The kings had to get off their horse to salute me on the road."
"When yer mom rolled on the pen with the pigs."
"Where is my fxxking jaw, you bloody ruffians."

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Necro-man

^hipiuriqW-,A. Shipwright,artist,Fantasy,Fantasy art,art,арт,некромант,Traditional art,длинопост

Even though the sword is broken dead, I can call its soul back.
Arm is the most basic type of shield.
My revived arm will be a shield.
This is my necromancy.

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Starved Pistol of Diliworth

A. Shipwright,artist,Fantasy,Fantasy art,art,арт,некромант,Traditional art,длинопост

Starved Pistol of Diliworth.
One of the haunted relics made by infamous weapon inventor Godin Elwiv of Eldrian two centuries ago.
The soul of people who were killed by him is stored inside.
Danger Rank High. Never touch.
P.S. My dear pupil who never ever read nor listen to my words.
I leave this postscript for I thought you would've ignore that warning.
At least don't fire this pistol twice.
The chance of it taking user's soul increases geometrically on the second fire.

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Hellblade

A. Shipwright,artist,Fantasy,Fantasy art,art,арт,некромант,Traditional art,длинопост

"Old man. Sword."
"Arfwgerraworf"

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You Must Fly

ASkowriaht,A. Shipwright,artist,Fantasy,Fantasy art,art,арт,некромант,Traditional art,длинопост

"Damn, I'm terribly sorry lady.
This is what my necromancy do.
Look at my arm. Revived in strange form of my true nature.
I guess your soul looks like a fish, swimming freely in the air.
At least you can fly instead of having normal leg oh what the hell am I talking about. I'm really...
Oh... Uh... I guess you like it.
Thank you."

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One is Gone

A.SVïipw!ôW qQqQq,A. Shipwright,artist,Fantasy,Fantasy art,art,арт,некромант,Traditional art,длинопост

My masters, all six of them, told me not to talk to the deads.
The deads never come back to life. That's undeniable truth. The truth that people left behind want to deny so much.
The soul of the dead leaves this world over the curtain of our realm forever.
What we call ghost is just an embodiment of remaining thought, emotion, or memory of the deads.
That's why they cannot talk normally, always want though need nothing, and stick to something obstinately.
It is difficult to remove them peacefully unless you follow certain rules and process originated from the deceased.
The deads are not the ones you knew.
Now I can understand why they taught me that over and over again.
It is obvious how I'll react to the false hallucination of my masters when they pass away.

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DnD story Dungeons & Dragons Dumb Dumb Mister 

Перевод в комментах.

Be me, sleep deprived DM, half an hour ago

Get startled by phone ringing It's one of my players

Me: "Dude, it's midnight, you good?"

Friend: "Yeah yeah, sorry if I woke you. Could I ask for a favor?"

OhGodHeKilledSomeone.gif

Me: "Uh, sure? Shoot. "

Friend: "My daughter can't sleep, could you tell a quick story over speakerphone? She loves listening to the recordings of our sessions before bed, but I left my laptop at the office so I can't play them.

NaniTheFuck.mp3

Me: "She listens to us to fall asleep?"

Friend: "Yeah, but she really likes your plot and NPC acting bits. She calls you dumb dumb mister: Guess Dungeon Master is a bit hard for a preschooler. " Me: "Wow…well, if it will help her sleep, then sure.

Friend: "Thank you! Okay, give me a sec to head back to her room. " (pause) "Okay, you're on speaker. 
Me: "Hey, [daughters name], it's uncle Anon. "

Daughter: (Happy gasp) "Dumb dumb Mister!"

I'veNeverBeenHappierToBeCalledADumbDumb.jpg Me: "You ready for a story about…(DM IMPROV SKILLS ENGAGE)…the time your daddy and his friends went deep into a cursed temple to save a frost dragon egg?"

Daughter: (Incomprehensible happy squealing noises)

I then proceed to spend nearly 20 min spitballing a story over the phone for the most fascinated little girl until she eventually fell asleep. Friend thanks me for the help and says he'll see me on game night.

Lay down in bed, actually feel content and comfortable for once. I should have thanked him.

I am the dumb dumb mister.
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