If you win, I'll sit on your face
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A. Shipwright artist Fantasy art некромант Traditional art длинопост
Their Stories
"Hey young man. This is not the closest way to the Bulgewater County. You better choose the west road of the Wisteria Crossroad."
"Oh look at this thick skin. Everybody's waiting for their turn and now you want to get buried in such nice place far far away?
Hey, you better go to my grave plot. It's much closer and so beautifu..."
"I heard your goddamned hometown story for hundreds of times that my ossicles almost worn out, ma'am.
Why don't we just shut up for this painful journey? You can have some talks with the devils after burial."
"Your sister's pelvis was so huge that even three baby skulls could go through the hole."
"That bastard is talking shit again. I heard he was mental and still barking like a dog even after brain fluid dried out."
"My jaw! Where is my jaw! I can't eat without my jaw!"
"His jaw was gone sucking dragon dick."
"This rude boy is ignoring me again! I told you Bulgewater County is not this way..."
----------------------------------
They Talk Too Much
"I told you not to go this way."
"Hey lad. Your fighting stance is awkward as hell."
"Your mama's tit was so huge that her ribs were bent."
"He's so nice as always. Drop me off here."
"We're dead! We're all dead. All because of that stupid gravekeeper!"
"Where is my jaw?"
"When I was young, I found no monsters as ugly as this one."
-----------------------------
They Still Talk
"Amazing, lad! Transforming our remains into spirit form, what a magic!"
"If I didn't know you, i would have thought that you were trying to kill us all! I know this sort of sorcery, and they use this spell to destroy the undeads."
"Your mama's spine is so bent that you can use it in math class as protractor."
"Good to be together as always. It's hard to find nice lad like this fellow these days."
"Where is my jaw? I can't find my jaw!"
"Huh! You call this a magic! Back in my days..."
"Hey young man, do you even hear me?"
------------------------------
Take Them Please
"Mortal. I ask you to yield one of those heads."
"I can't."
"You cherish life of the deads more than yours? How touching."
"No really. I can't."
------------------------------
Put Your Hand on My Shoulder
"Knock it off you bloody dotard."
"Haha! We heard you talking back to our word! Today's a special day!"
------------------------------
The Protectors
I hear dead people.
And they never fxxking shut up.
------------------------------
Dead Men Tell A Lot of Tales
"That's a mighty fine necromancy, summoning the dead severed arm!"
"And he didn't raise us from dead with such skill."
"Where is my jaw."
"If we knew he could do that we would've never apologized him."
"I mean, it's pretty absurd to blame us for dragging monster's attention by our chatter. It's monster that cut off his arm, not us."
--------------------------------
Manga Style Necromancy
"Fight with me."
"Wait, we never agreed that."
"I will never forget you."
"I said we never agreed that."
"SOUL CRUSHER."
"You motherf-."
------------------------------
"Your Move, Old Man."
"Look at that ruddy bastard grabbing old man's head."
"Where is my jaw."
"Back in my days, even rudest of all showed respect to the elders.
Kids these days ignore the aged men and their wisdom.
Back in my days, no one would've allowed this to happen.
The kings had to get off their horse to salute me on the road."
"When yer mom rolled on the pen with the pigs."
"Where is my fxxking jaw, you bloody ruffians."
-------------------------------
Necro-man
Even though the sword is broken dead, I can call its soul back.
Arm is the most basic type of shield.
My revived arm will be a shield.
This is my necromancy.
------------------------------
Starved Pistol of Diliworth
Starved Pistol of Diliworth.
One of the haunted relics made by infamous weapon inventor Godin Elwiv of Eldrian two centuries ago.
The soul of people who were killed by him is stored inside.
Danger Rank High. Never touch.
P.S. My dear pupil who never ever read nor listen to my words.
I leave this postscript for I thought you would've ignore that warning.
At least don't fire this pistol twice.
The chance of it taking user's soul increases geometrically on the second fire.
------------------------------
Hellblade
"Old man. Sword."
"Arfwgerraworf"
--------------------------------
You Must Fly
"Damn, I'm terribly sorry lady.
This is what my necromancy do.
Look at my arm. Revived in strange form of my true nature.
I guess your soul looks like a fish, swimming freely in the air.
At least you can fly instead of having normal leg oh what the hell am I talking about. I'm really...
Oh... Uh... I guess you like it.
Thank you."
-----------------------------------
One is Gone
My masters, all six of them, told me not to talk to the deads.
The deads never come back to life. That's undeniable truth. The truth that people left behind want to deny so much.
The soul of the dead leaves this world over the curtain of our realm forever.
What we call ghost is just an embodiment of remaining thought, emotion, or memory of the deads.
That's why they cannot talk normally, always want though need nothing, and stick to something obstinately.
It is difficult to remove them peacefully unless you follow certain rules and process originated from the deceased.
The deads are not the ones you knew.
Now I can understand why they taught me that over and over again.
It is obvious how I'll react to the false hallucination of my masters when they pass away.
story личное английский мат песочница
Архипиздрит - cunt-chaser.
бздение - act of farting; cowardice.
бздех - gas accompanying a silent fart.
бздун - farter; fart, weak
бикса - slut.
блежник - promiscuous man; whoremonger.
блядовать, -дую, -дует to whore; to dissipate, lead a dissolute life (said of a man or woman).
блядовство - a depraved, dissolute way of life.
блядство - underhanded, dirty trick; stupid blunder.
блядь буду - I'll be goddamned
блядун - whoremonger.
блядунья – two-bit whore, common slut.
блядь - whore; bitch, slut.
буфера - boobs, tits.
волосянка - pubic hair.
взьебывать, -аю, -ает to work one's ass off, slave.
выблядок, -дка bastard (lit. and fig.).
выебать,-ебу,-ебет сов. to fuck (lit.); to punish; to chew out, scold; to pull out of a hat, obtain from nowhere.
выкуси! eat me! suck my prick!
выпердеть,-жу,-дит сов. to shit whith difficulty; to fart (something) out.
высраться, -серусь - to take a shit; to evacuate
выссаться, -ссусь to piss one's pants;
говно, -а shit, a turd (of persons) ;
говноед - greedy, mean person; bastard(fig)
говночист - outhouse cleaner; indiscriminate man.
говнюк - nobody, worm; shitass.
гондон - rubber, condom.
давалка - numpho, sexually promiscuous woman.
давать, даю, дает to put out, offer oneself sexually
долбоеб - stupid ass, dunce.
дристун - turd, weakling; young punk.
дристуха - the runs, the runny shits, diarrhea.
дрочена - come, semen.
дрочила - . masturbator; pricktease
дрочить, -чу, дрочит to jack off, beat off
дрочка - masturbation; fucking around
ебало - fucking mouth.
Закрой ебальник ! Shut your fucking mouth! ебаный - fucking, goddamned
Иди к ебеной матери - Go to hell!
ебарь - . stud, cunt-chaser; adulterer.
Еб твою мать! - Go to hell!, Goddamn you!;
Ебена мать! - I'll be damned!, Damn it!
ебля/ебля - fucking; busy-work.
ебнуть - to fuck, to strike.
жертва аборта - abortion
жопа - ass, asshole; clod, awkward,
жопа с ручкой - на asshole, helpless person.
натянуть глаз на жопу - to beat the shit out of.
задристать - to foul up.
залупа - head of penis, glans penis;
Засранец - shitass, simpleton.
захуячить - to strike.
какать - to crap, shit.
коза - queer, homosexual.
кончить - to come, ejaculate.
Х*й тебе в жопу! - Prick up your ass! (refusal to a person)
Х*й на! - No fucking way!
Залупа конская! - Horse pee hole! (to a person)
Х*й моржовый - Walrus dick (to a person)
Мандавошка - Cunt louse (to a woman)
Гандон! - Condom (could be used to a person)
Гандон штопаный! - Darned condom (to a person)
Пердун старый - Old Fart
Пи*да старая - Old woman (old cunt)
Пиз*обол, пиздун - Fucking liar
Говносос - Shit Sucker
Ху*сос - Dick sucker
Сосать - To suck
Говнодавы - Ugly Big Shoes (lit. Shit-smashers)
Мудазвон - Wacko
Пи*дец - To bullshit
Е*/ать вашу мать! - Damn it! (fuck your mother)
Е*ать копать! - Damn it! (Fucking-digging!)
Е*ать в рот - Holly Fuck! (fuck the mouth!)
Зае*ись - Holy Fuck! (could be bad or good)
По*уй! - Don't fucking care
Залупа - Pee hole
Целка - Virgin
Козёл - Passive gay (jail slang, goat")
Петух - Passive gay (jail slang, "rooster")
Минет - Blow job
Засранец - Asshole
Бл*тская пиз*оё*ина - Fucking bitch
Поцелуй мою жопу - Kiss my ass
Навешать пиз*юлей, дать пиз*ы, пиз*ы вломить - To beat shit out someone
Пасть закрой падла ё*анная! - Shut the fuck up, you fukin' bitch
Ну всё тебе пиз*ец! - That's it, you're fuckin' dead
Жри говно и сдохни! - Eat shit and die!
*б твою мать! - Fuck your mother
Пи*да - Cunt
Срака - An ass
Мудак - An asshole
Посаси мои яйца! - Suck my balls
Бл*дь - Whore
Ты дегенерат - You're a degenerate
Говнюк - Shithead
Пи*арас - Asshole, dickhead
Пошел нах*й! - Fuck off, fuck you
Меня это не е*ёт - I don't give a fuck
На х*й? - Why the fuck?
А х*ли? - Why the fuck not?
Х*й тебе в глаз! - A dick in your eye
Ё*анная сука! - Fucking Bitch
Отъе*ись от меня! - Get the fuck away from me
*б вашу мать! - I fucked all of your mothers
Лох - Loser
Пи*ар - Faggot
Отсоси! - Suck my dick
С*чка дерганная - Crazy bitch
Иди в жопу - Go up an ass
Всё зае*ало - All fucked-up
Е*ать мой лысый череп! - Fuck my bald skull
Хуй тебе в рот - Take a dick in your mouth
Отъ*бись - Fuck off
Жопу порву, моргалы выколю - I'll rip your ass and poke out your eyes
Жополиз - Ass licker
Жопо*б - Ass fucker
Зае*ись! - Stuff your mouth
Манда - Pussy
Я тебе дам по е*алу - I fill hit you in your face
Засунь в жопу - Stick it in your ass
Я твой рот наоборот - I fucked your mouth
Отсоси, потом проси - Blow my cock. then make a wish
Иди в жопу - Go up an ass
Е*лан - A stupid guy
Мне насрать что ты думаешь - I don't care what you think
Мне до лампочки - I don't care
Мымра - Mean woman
Придурок - Nitwit
Пьяный в стельку - Really drunk
Сволочь - Bastard
Чёрт побери! - Damn it!, Oh shit!
Злое/*учий х*й - Hard fucking dick
Перхоть подза*упная - Pee hole dandruff
Пизда лысая - Bold pussy
Член маринованный - A marinated dick
Уё*ок пустоголовый - A fucked up pussy head
Расп*здяй колхозный - A stupid Redneck
Конь педальный - Horse with pedals
Пи*да ты жопоглазая - You are a vagina with eyes on your ass
Родился через жопу - You were born through the ass
Пи*да с усами - A vagina with ears
Залупоглазая мондавошка - Slut with pee hole-eyes
Анус перепуганный - A scared anus
Хренотеть - Fucked up thing (usually situation)
Шлюха - Slut
Шлюшка - Little slut
Мне по*уй - I don't give a fuck
Хватит долбоёбничать - Stop being a dipshit
На колени сука - On your knees, bitch
Пи*да на палочке - Cunt on a stick
Ёбанный карась - Fucking moron (lit. fucked crucian)
Ё*арь малолетний - Adolescent jerk
Недоносок - Child born too early, moron
Шлюха вокзальная - Train station whore
Тварь - Creature
Врубился? - Understand? (slang)
Ху*ню нести - Talking crap
Ботаник - Nerd
Как мухи на говно - Like flies to shit
Не пудри мне мозги - Don't try to confuse me
Подонок - A person that's the lowest of the lowest
Молокосос - Underage boy (lit. milk sucker)
У тебя пи*да такая, что ведро со свистом проваливается - Your pussy, a bucket falls in with a whistle.
Ху*плёт - Lying faggot (lit. cock twiner)
Пиз*ит как Троцкий - Bullshits like Trotsky
Раком - Doggy-style
Пиз*юк - Bloke (lit. cunt man)
Мо*гоёб - Nuisance of a man (lit. brain fucker)
Уё*ище - Fucked-up bastard
Конь в пальто - Dickhead (lit. horse in an overcoat)
Х*й тебе в жопу заместо укропу! - No fucking way!
Мудак - Arrogant idiot
Скотина - Idiotic animal
У тебя руки из жопы растут что ли? - Are your hands growing from your ass? (to anreally clumsy person or to one who cannot do anything right)
Чтоб твои дети тебе в суп срали! - I wish that your children will shit in your soup
Перестань мне е*ать мозги своими вопросами - Stop fucking my brain with your questions
Не е*и мне мозги! - Don't fuck my brain!
Мне всё остопи*дело - I'm sick of it all (lit. I feel like I fucked 100 cunts)
Голосуй не голосуй, всё равно получишь х*й! - Vote or not, you've been had
спизжен отсюда http://langme.com/node/119
бздение - act of farting; cowardice.
бздех - gas accompanying a silent fart.
бздун - farter; fart, weak
бикса - slut.
блежник - promiscuous man; whoremonger.
блядовать, -дую, -дует to whore; to dissipate, lead a dissolute life (said of a man or woman).
блядовство - a depraved, dissolute way of life.
блядство - underhanded, dirty trick; stupid blunder.
блядь буду - I'll be goddamned
блядун - whoremonger.
блядунья – two-bit whore, common slut.
блядь - whore; bitch, slut.
буфера - boobs, tits.
волосянка - pubic hair.
взьебывать, -аю, -ает to work one's ass off, slave.
выблядок, -дка bastard (lit. and fig.).
выебать,-ебу,-ебет сов. to fuck (lit.); to punish; to chew out, scold; to pull out of a hat, obtain from nowhere.
выкуси! eat me! suck my prick!
выпердеть,-жу,-дит сов. to shit whith difficulty; to fart (something) out.
высраться, -серусь - to take a shit; to evacuate
выссаться, -ссусь to piss one's pants;
говно, -а shit, a turd (of persons) ;
говноед - greedy, mean person; bastard(fig)
говночист - outhouse cleaner; indiscriminate man.
говнюк - nobody, worm; shitass.
гондон - rubber, condom.
давалка - numpho, sexually promiscuous woman.
давать, даю, дает to put out, offer oneself sexually
долбоеб - stupid ass, dunce.
дристун - turd, weakling; young punk.
дристуха - the runs, the runny shits, diarrhea.
дрочена - come, semen.
дрочила - . masturbator; pricktease
дрочить, -чу, дрочит to jack off, beat off
дрочка - masturbation; fucking around
ебало - fucking mouth.
Закрой ебальник ! Shut your fucking mouth! ебаный - fucking, goddamned
Иди к ебеной матери - Go to hell!
ебарь - . stud, cunt-chaser; adulterer.
Еб твою мать! - Go to hell!, Goddamn you!;
Ебена мать! - I'll be damned!, Damn it!
ебля/ебля - fucking; busy-work.
ебнуть - to fuck, to strike.
жертва аборта - abortion
жопа - ass, asshole; clod, awkward,
жопа с ручкой - на asshole, helpless person.
натянуть глаз на жопу - to beat the shit out of.
задристать - to foul up.
залупа - head of penis, glans penis;
Засранец - shitass, simpleton.
захуячить - to strike.
какать - to crap, shit.
коза - queer, homosexual.
кончить - to come, ejaculate.
Х*й тебе в жопу! - Prick up your ass! (refusal to a person)
Х*й на! - No fucking way!
Залупа конская! - Horse pee hole! (to a person)
Х*й моржовый - Walrus dick (to a person)
Мандавошка - Cunt louse (to a woman)
Гандон! - Condom (could be used to a person)
Гандон штопаный! - Darned condom (to a person)
Пердун старый - Old Fart
Пи*да старая - Old woman (old cunt)
Пиз*обол, пиздун - Fucking liar
Говносос - Shit Sucker
Ху*сос - Dick sucker
Сосать - To suck
Говнодавы - Ugly Big Shoes (lit. Shit-smashers)
Мудазвон - Wacko
Пи*дец - To bullshit
Е*/ать вашу мать! - Damn it! (fuck your mother)
Е*ать копать! - Damn it! (Fucking-digging!)
Е*ать в рот - Holly Fuck! (fuck the mouth!)
Зае*ись - Holy Fuck! (could be bad or good)
По*уй! - Don't fucking care
Залупа - Pee hole
Целка - Virgin
Козёл - Passive gay (jail slang, goat")
Петух - Passive gay (jail slang, "rooster")
Минет - Blow job
Засранец - Asshole
Бл*тская пиз*оё*ина - Fucking bitch
Поцелуй мою жопу - Kiss my ass
Навешать пиз*юлей, дать пиз*ы, пиз*ы вломить - To beat shit out someone
Пасть закрой падла ё*анная! - Shut the fuck up, you fukin' bitch
Ну всё тебе пиз*ец! - That's it, you're fuckin' dead
Жри говно и сдохни! - Eat shit and die!
*б твою мать! - Fuck your mother
Пи*да - Cunt
Срака - An ass
Мудак - An asshole
Посаси мои яйца! - Suck my balls
Бл*дь - Whore
Ты дегенерат - You're a degenerate
Говнюк - Shithead
Пи*арас - Asshole, dickhead
Пошел нах*й! - Fuck off, fuck you
Меня это не е*ёт - I don't give a fuck
На х*й? - Why the fuck?
А х*ли? - Why the fuck not?
Х*й тебе в глаз! - A dick in your eye
Ё*анная сука! - Fucking Bitch
Отъе*ись от меня! - Get the fuck away from me
*б вашу мать! - I fucked all of your mothers
Лох - Loser
Пи*ар - Faggot
Отсоси! - Suck my dick
С*чка дерганная - Crazy bitch
Иди в жопу - Go up an ass
Всё зае*ало - All fucked-up
Е*ать мой лысый череп! - Fuck my bald skull
Хуй тебе в рот - Take a dick in your mouth
Отъ*бись - Fuck off
Жопу порву, моргалы выколю - I'll rip your ass and poke out your eyes
Жополиз - Ass licker
Жопо*б - Ass fucker
Зае*ись! - Stuff your mouth
Манда - Pussy
Я тебе дам по е*алу - I fill hit you in your face
Засунь в жопу - Stick it in your ass
Я твой рот наоборот - I fucked your mouth
Отсоси, потом проси - Blow my cock. then make a wish
Иди в жопу - Go up an ass
Е*лан - A stupid guy
Мне насрать что ты думаешь - I don't care what you think
Мне до лампочки - I don't care
Мымра - Mean woman
Придурок - Nitwit
Пьяный в стельку - Really drunk
Сволочь - Bastard
Чёрт побери! - Damn it!, Oh shit!
Злое/*учий х*й - Hard fucking dick
Перхоть подза*упная - Pee hole dandruff
Пизда лысая - Bold pussy
Член маринованный - A marinated dick
Уё*ок пустоголовый - A fucked up pussy head
Расп*здяй колхозный - A stupid Redneck
Конь педальный - Horse with pedals
Пи*да ты жопоглазая - You are a vagina with eyes on your ass
Родился через жопу - You were born through the ass
Пи*да с усами - A vagina with ears
Залупоглазая мондавошка - Slut with pee hole-eyes
Анус перепуганный - A scared anus
Хренотеть - Fucked up thing (usually situation)
Шлюха - Slut
Шлюшка - Little slut
Мне по*уй - I don't give a fuck
Хватит долбоёбничать - Stop being a dipshit
На колени сука - On your knees, bitch
Пи*да на палочке - Cunt on a stick
Ёбанный карась - Fucking moron (lit. fucked crucian)
Ё*арь малолетний - Adolescent jerk
Недоносок - Child born too early, moron
Шлюха вокзальная - Train station whore
Тварь - Creature
Врубился? - Understand? (slang)
Ху*ню нести - Talking crap
Ботаник - Nerd
Как мухи на говно - Like flies to shit
Не пудри мне мозги - Don't try to confuse me
Подонок - A person that's the lowest of the lowest
Молокосос - Underage boy (lit. milk sucker)
У тебя пи*да такая, что ведро со свистом проваливается - Your pussy, a bucket falls in with a whistle.
Ху*плёт - Lying faggot (lit. cock twiner)
Пиз*ит как Троцкий - Bullshits like Trotsky
Раком - Doggy-style
Пиз*юк - Bloke (lit. cunt man)
Мо*гоёб - Nuisance of a man (lit. brain fucker)
Уё*ище - Fucked-up bastard
Конь в пальто - Dickhead (lit. horse in an overcoat)
Х*й тебе в жопу заместо укропу! - No fucking way!
Мудак - Arrogant idiot
Скотина - Idiotic animal
У тебя руки из жопы растут что ли? - Are your hands growing from your ass? (to anreally clumsy person or to one who cannot do anything right)
Чтоб твои дети тебе в суп срали! - I wish that your children will shit in your soup
Перестань мне е*ать мозги своими вопросами - Stop fucking my brain with your questions
Не е*и мне мозги! - Don't fuck my brain!
Мне всё остопи*дело - I'm sick of it all (lit. I feel like I fucked 100 cunts)
Голосуй не голосуй, всё равно получишь х*й! - Vote or not, you've been had
спизжен отсюда http://langme.com/node/119
трам новости хуй политика трамп
Британский подросток приветствует Трампа большим членом
Перед визитом президента США в Великобританию подросток выстриг на траве у своего дома анти-Трамповое послание с гигантским пенисом.Олли Нэнкарроу провел свои выходные, кося слова «Эй Трамп» на своей лужайке возле Хитфилд-Хит в Эссексе.
18-летний подросток также использовал косилку, чтобы вытравить в траву гигантского белого медведя, пенис и слова «изменение климата является реальным», согласно Bishop’s Stortford Independent.
Студент-отличник надеется, что президент США заметит его послание, когда ВВС-1 приблизится к аэропорту Станстед, который находится недалеко от Хатфилд-Хит, в понедельник утром.
«Дональд Трамп и его отрицание изменения климата не приветствуются, и я хочу, чтобы он полностью осознавал это, когда прилетит в Станстед в понедельник», - сказал он.
